My family (mom's side) is fighting over something really silly and little.
When will the madness end?!?!
Im going on my hike to the post office now. :)
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Fight
Brandon and I had our very first fight tonight. Not yelling or anything. But nonetheless, after dating for 6 months, we finally fought.
I hated it. It felt so wrong and so hurtful and I just wanted it to be over but I couldn't even talk to him.
We were silent in the car all they way home from Pearl Harbor to my house. He tried to touch my leg, maybe a silent apology, but I just felt so hurt and so stupid.
We talked a little bit, but it didn't make it any better. By then I was on the verge of tears. Men can just be so inconsiderate.
Half an hour after the whole thing started I just ended it. The fight that is. I just told him "I dont want to fight with you. Lets just have this be over, ok?" (Ok, so there were some other words in there, but what we fought over makes me feel stupid, so I just dont wanna talk about it)
Anyway, I told him that I do things for him because i care about him (i wanted so badly to tell him how much i love him.), and when those things are rejected, I feel like Im not doing a good job as a gf.
He quickly and sweetly told me that I was doing a good job, an excellent job. I could tell right there as he held my head, his fingers caressing my cheek,sitting forehead to forehead, nose to nose, that he was afraid of losing me. I would think he'd know by now that hes sooo much to me. Not everything, but almost. hes the man id be willing to let hold my heart. And thats saying a lot.
I dont even know what to say here. Im just venting and my poor bf just didnt know he could have just said "Nice" and then we would have never fought!
Let me tell you, I have NEVER EVER backed down from a fight when i know Im right. Never.
But it doesnt matter whether Im right. I had the option of just getting out of his car and walking away, making sure he knew I was pissed enough to not get any sweet kisses. But I didnt. I picked my battle...and this just wasnt it. I dont want to fight with him. I want to joke and laugh and share kisses and cokes. But not fight. I just love this guy so much it hurts to think of me not with him. Hes so hard to read....his emotions that is.
Men, tell your women how you feel!!
Sorry for venting. But if I cant vent on a blog, where can I?
I think im gonna do something to stop thinking about this so I dont cry.
Arghh I feel like an emo loser!!!
I hated it. It felt so wrong and so hurtful and I just wanted it to be over but I couldn't even talk to him.
We were silent in the car all they way home from Pearl Harbor to my house. He tried to touch my leg, maybe a silent apology, but I just felt so hurt and so stupid.
We talked a little bit, but it didn't make it any better. By then I was on the verge of tears. Men can just be so inconsiderate.
Half an hour after the whole thing started I just ended it. The fight that is. I just told him "I dont want to fight with you. Lets just have this be over, ok?" (Ok, so there were some other words in there, but what we fought over makes me feel stupid, so I just dont wanna talk about it)
Anyway, I told him that I do things for him because i care about him (i wanted so badly to tell him how much i love him.), and when those things are rejected, I feel like Im not doing a good job as a gf.
He quickly and sweetly told me that I was doing a good job, an excellent job. I could tell right there as he held my head, his fingers caressing my cheek,sitting forehead to forehead, nose to nose, that he was afraid of losing me. I would think he'd know by now that hes sooo much to me. Not everything, but almost. hes the man id be willing to let hold my heart. And thats saying a lot.
I dont even know what to say here. Im just venting and my poor bf just didnt know he could have just said "Nice" and then we would have never fought!
Let me tell you, I have NEVER EVER backed down from a fight when i know Im right. Never.
But it doesnt matter whether Im right. I had the option of just getting out of his car and walking away, making sure he knew I was pissed enough to not get any sweet kisses. But I didnt. I picked my battle...and this just wasnt it. I dont want to fight with him. I want to joke and laugh and share kisses and cokes. But not fight. I just love this guy so much it hurts to think of me not with him. Hes so hard to read....his emotions that is.
Men, tell your women how you feel!!
Sorry for venting. But if I cant vent on a blog, where can I?
I think im gonna do something to stop thinking about this so I dont cry.
Arghh I feel like an emo loser!!!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Ahh
I made it to the beach this morning to hang out with Liz. We went to the Ko'olina Lagoons, which are fabulous! :) I got a little sun and got to see my Lizzie! YAY!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
:)
My boyfriend got the coolest Corvette. It is super sexy and I love riding in it. :)
And I can tell him driving it makes him feel different. It makes him cocky and sexy and irresistible. I love it!
We had dinner at PF Changs tonight..yummy! I had actually never been there before tonight, but surprise surprise i stuck to my diet! Woo hoo! We saw Madea Goes To Jail. Freakin hilarious...seriously, see it!
:) We just sat and talk an talked and talked. He said that the worst part of moving to the mainland is leaving me. Which isnt like him to say at all, but Im loving the new confident Brandon.
Not that i didn't love him before! :)
Ok, bed so I can work and then see him tomorrow night! Woo Hoo!
And I can tell him driving it makes him feel different. It makes him cocky and sexy and irresistible. I love it!
We had dinner at PF Changs tonight..yummy! I had actually never been there before tonight, but surprise surprise i stuck to my diet! Woo hoo! We saw Madea Goes To Jail. Freakin hilarious...seriously, see it!
:) We just sat and talk an talked and talked. He said that the worst part of moving to the mainland is leaving me. Which isnt like him to say at all, but Im loving the new confident Brandon.
Not that i didn't love him before! :)
Ok, bed so I can work and then see him tomorrow night! Woo Hoo!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Hehehe
Online, I am a complainer. It is what i do.
Cause in real-not-on-the-web-life, I don't complain.
Sorry guys. :) But, Im gonna make up for it!
I had a really good day today. No work. Mom and Natalie fun.
I got a cute shirt, some $60 KSwiss shoes for $6.99.
a CUTE Coach bag for cheap. (Ok, a lot of $$, but cheap for Coach.)
We drank some vodka, had some fun.
It was good.
Im having a really good month so far! Hehehe and I stimulated the economy today!
Cause in real-not-on-the-web-life, I don't complain.
Sorry guys. :) But, Im gonna make up for it!
I had a really good day today. No work. Mom and Natalie fun.
I got a cute shirt, some $60 KSwiss shoes for $6.99.
a CUTE Coach bag for cheap. (Ok, a lot of $$, but cheap for Coach.)
We drank some vodka, had some fun.
It was good.
Im having a really good month so far! Hehehe and I stimulated the economy today!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Between a rock...
I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I seriously love Brandon but it kills me when i don't hear from him for days. He just doesn't think about me. I mean, is it too much to send me one text to say "I'm gonna be busy this weekend, i probably wont be in touch"?
I really think I'm inconsequential to is life. He has me, great! He doesn't have me, eh. Isnt it the woman who is supposed to tell the guy "I could be with anyone else but I choose to be with you."? I feel likes hes with me cause its easy and the sex is great. I sometimes wonder why Im with him.
I wonder if Id be happier alone. Or happier with someone else.
I wonder when i'll slip and say i love him.
I wonder if that'll be the end, a really awkward moment, or the best thing ever.
Deep down I know it wont be the latter.
And most of the time i wonder if i over think everything.
I can only be the understanding gf for so long. Til I break.
Is it wrong that I feel so good when a stranger compliments me?
maybe because my bf never has. :(
Or at least I cant ever remember it.
I really think I'm inconsequential to is life. He has me, great! He doesn't have me, eh. Isnt it the woman who is supposed to tell the guy "I could be with anyone else but I choose to be with you."? I feel likes hes with me cause its easy and the sex is great. I sometimes wonder why Im with him.
I wonder if Id be happier alone. Or happier with someone else.
I wonder when i'll slip and say i love him.
I wonder if that'll be the end, a really awkward moment, or the best thing ever.
Deep down I know it wont be the latter.
And most of the time i wonder if i over think everything.
I can only be the understanding gf for so long. Til I break.
Is it wrong that I feel so good when a stranger compliments me?
maybe because my bf never has. :(
Or at least I cant ever remember it.
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