Fight

Brandon and I had our very first fight tonight. Not yelling or anything. But nonetheless, after dating for 6 months, we finally fought.
I hated it. It felt so wrong and so hurtful and I just wanted it to be over but I couldn't even talk to him.
We were silent in the car all they way home from Pearl Harbor to my house. He tried to touch my leg, maybe a silent apology, but I just felt so hurt and so stupid.
We talked a little bit, but it didn't make it any better. By then I was on the verge of tears. Men can just be so inconsiderate.
Half an hour after the whole thing started I just ended it. The fight that is. I just told him "I dont want to fight with you. Lets just have this be over, ok?" (Ok, so there were some other words in there, but what we fought over makes me feel stupid, so I just dont wanna talk about it)
Anyway, I told him that I do things for him because i care about him (i wanted so badly to tell him how much i love him.), and when those things are rejected, I feel like Im not doing a good job as a gf.
He quickly and sweetly told me that I was doing a good job, an excellent job. I could tell right there as he held my head, his fingers caressing my cheek,sitting forehead to forehead, nose to nose, that he was afraid of losing me. I would think he'd know by now that hes sooo much to me. Not everything, but almost. hes the man id be willing to let hold my heart. And thats saying a lot.

I dont even know what to say here. Im just venting and my poor bf just didnt know he could have just said "Nice" and then we would have never fought!
Let me tell you, I have NEVER EVER backed down from a fight when i know Im right. Never.
But it doesnt matter whether Im right. I had the option of just getting out of his car and walking away, making sure he knew I was pissed enough to not get any sweet kisses. But I didnt. I picked my battle...and this just wasnt it. I dont want to fight with him. I want to joke and laugh and share kisses and cokes. But not fight. I just love this guy so much it hurts to think of me not with him. Hes so hard to read....his emotions that is.
Men, tell your women how you feel!!

Sorry for venting. But if I cant vent on a blog, where can I?
I think im gonna do something to stop thinking about this so I dont cry.
Arghh I feel like an emo loser!!!