:)

This is a reminder more to myself than ya'll, but I will update my blog on Tues when I am flying to Idaho.

:)

Breckenridge

:) It is so beautiful and relaxing here! :)

My day off..ahhh

I am enjoying my day off. And kind of gigglin because its only 7am in hawaii and there is noooo way id be up and awake at that hour there on a saturday!

I am planning on taking my day very slow here today. I am currently sitting on the front porch enjoying the weather. It just poured rain down for about 3 minutes. It stopped...but I hear thunder. :) Ooops...that was a trolley...lol. I might get out and see the town a bit...but a vacation is meant for relaxing..and staying in this Bed and breakfast is very very relaxing. I feel like I am staying at a family members house, and not a hotel, which i guess is the upside to a B & B. :)

Happy happy joy joy!!!

Diary of the sleep deprived traveler

I dont know what I was thinking having the Coastie spend the night last night. Did I seriouslty think that any lingering feeling we both had wouldnt manifest themselves? I am so irritated at Cody for how he acted last night. He was on my computer all up in my personal stuff, trying to read my diary (again...), and kept being nosy about who i was talking to online and what we were talking about.
I was talking to this really nice guy Max, and I had to keep closing my laptop because Senor Nosypants kept trying to read my crap! Does he not realize that friends dont do that junk? Does he not realize friends dont force hugs or massages...and they certainly do not kiss their so called friend. He was the one who wanted this friendship. Yet he cant even do what he supposedly wants!
I made it clear to him last night that it was fine that he didnt want to date me. Complicated and not quite comprehensible...buut fine. But i made it clear that that was it...there will never be an us again. I will date...and it will not be him. Period.
I thought he was different. Crazy military men!!

One of my friends is pregnant. I just found out this morning and I am not really sure what to say about it or to her.
I was to be so supportive of her because I know no one else will. She dated this guy for just a bit, and certainly didnt plan this. She gave up on dating him because of is immaturity. :(
All I know is I need to be there for her, as a friend should. :) So sweets, if youre reading this, I know I didnt say anything to you this morning...it really wasnt the best time for me to be able to talk to you...since i was trying to watch Austin and my luggage.
But know I am here for you. What happened has happened, lets not rehash the past.
I am here for you. Love!

In related news...Im going to be an Auntie!! (hawaiian slang for the baby's mother's friend)

I am on my flight right now. I am trying to watch Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. The only problem is the screen is far away (i am in the last row on the plane) and its kind of a crappy quality tv. But hey, something is always better than nothing....remember that!! Except when it comes to relationships....then I say go for the gold!

Ok, Im tired of this. For now. Ciao baby!!

Ok...its an hour later and I am still bored. But I learned something from the movie...I need to move on from the guys that are fixer-uppers. I need a strong, mature, moral and independent man who wants to be with me and will move heaven and earth to be with me.

It is now 8:25 pm in Hawaii...which means its 12:25 am here in Ft. Collins, CO. I need to get to bed because I have breakfast to attend at 7:30 am!! I love this Bed and Breakfast so far!!!

Sobering up and alll maaad.....

How do i attract the guys who like to fuck me over. he seriously tried to kiss me. After he pulled down his pants to prove some point that I didnt get. I think its because he knows I still like him and its amusing to him to tease me. Fuck you Cody. I still dont know why you want to be my friend. Just end it...dont linger in this friendship because you think its what I want.

Oh yeah, and he kissed me. On the lips. Thank God I was sober enough to give him nothing back. Nothing. I dont want some stupid guy who isnt mature enough to know what he wants. I want, no, i deserve to be completely wanted and swept off my feet. After being with an abusive and philandering and criminal husband, i deserve the best. You dont want to give that to me, fine.
I told him my rule about guys from my past. As in, he's done. he doesnt want me know, he cant have me back. You either know you want me or you dont. I am a complicated person...i may not know everything in my future but I know that he's cause me this much pain and hurt after just 1 week of dating, what is we date for 2 months and then we break up? How hurt will I be then?
Lets face it...he's waaaay too immature for me. This is all waaay too high school for me. Way too much. I need a man. A real man. Not some 23 yr old guy who treats me like a toy. No thanks.

Seriously...is my life gonna be one after another guy who is shit? Where are the real nice normal guys?
Arghhh. Thank you Jesus for this trip. Thank you for a wonderful house I get to retreat to...and not have to talk to asshattty men if I dont want to. GRRRRR

He's heeeere...

He's here. Mister I wannt be friends, aka the Coastie is here. I thought i was over it. Damn...dead wrong. Arggh I was nervous he was coming over and started drinking from a jug of wine. Needless to say...he is NOT acting like a friend would and its piossing me off. Just pissing me off! Arghhh!

I should not have had 3 glasses of wine. And he should NOT have poured me the 4th.No, I didnt drink it. Arghh.

Update Numero Uno

Im sitting here in bed thinking Ive done enough procrastinating to last a lifetime. LOL enough is enough. So here is an update.
That great guy i met last week that swept me off of my feet and was perfect? Well, he just wants to be friends. :) Yup.
So I said enough is enough. I am tired of meeting guys at bars and clubs. Im tired of the same old same old drunkiness or lameness. Not that "want to be friends" guy is either, because he is amazing. But anyway. So saturday night I joined up on Match.com. So far, so good. I am talking with about 6 guys right now. And yes, it is confusing. :) But fun too. I feel like I am getting back in the game, and these guys on the dating website are different than bar guys...especially the guys I meet at the bar right across from the Army base. Those guys are winners... (not saying all Army guys arent...just the ones i meet). But anyway, I am def over the other guy. We are just friends...which is fine with me. I still get to joke around about him being a puddle pirate. Might even have to joke around about his love for OU...LOL

I got a lot done today, mostly clearing out my Tivo (by watching my shows...lol). I did get some pre-trip shopping done including getting bathroom stuff and some long sleeved clothing. Colder weather here I come...dont make me hate you again!

To those who thought it couldnt be done, I did get some packing done today. I am only bringing one bag (which is amazing considering im going to be gone for a month) and so I have been packing carefully. I have packed all my clothes and now just need to pack all of my bathroom stuff...and makeup. Ill do that tomorrow night. Oh did I mention that "just be friends" guy is taking me to the airport? Shouldnt be too too awkward!

I have so enjoyed having a house to myself, besides having to take out the trash by myself. Oh, and I get a tad bit scared being alone at night. Needless to say the kitchen light stays on all night for my benefit. I do love having the 3 doggies all cuddled up with me in my bed. Its cozy.

Ok, i think my sleeping pill is kicking in so I best brush my teeth and head to bed!
I hope this post has satisfied your curiousity my loves.
Let me know what I need to add/what you want to know and you can bet itll be here soon!!!

Natalie

I have decided...

(Amanda) Ill make an effort to update my blog while Im away. In fact, I may even do it while i am on the airplane. Well, you know not on the plane...ill write it and send it when im on my layover in cali. Ughh just the thought of a layover with 2 kids makes me cringe. Just cringe!!!

Wow

I had an amazing date with Cody. He is sweet and funny and he makes me heart smile.

:) He better not break it....I have friends that'll kick his butt.

:)

:)

I am seriously grinning from ear to ear because a guy just told me he liked me.
Oh, and he calls me Baby Girl. :)