More rants about the bf...
You know whats weird about Brandon being gone? Its not like he's going to the mainland or Korea or Africa for 6 weeks. He's about 10 miles off the coast of Hawaii a couple miles (I'm not sure of the depth...but underwater for sure) underwater...so close but so far away. And it seems that since the Navy keeps bumping my emails back to me that they don't want the emails going to the sub. i can handle distance...my Air Force dad has been in and out of our house on TDY and at school since I was a young child..so I learned to talk to him over the phone. I just feel like Brandon will come back and we'll be strangers, or that how I feel will change, or how he feel will change. Am I alone in this?
My court date is in 2 days TWO DAYS. Will Ronnie show up? Will it all be resolved that day? More importantly, will I be able to talk to Brandon about what happens? I know I can do this whole divorce thing alone, but it doesn't mean that I want to. I know he wants to be here for me, so I'm going to try and be the strong person I always pretend to be until he comes back. I keep writing the little "texts" to him and then stick them in a box. He'll never get them, they are simply my worries and fears and thoughts. I wish I could share them with him, but they will be inconsequential when he comes home.
I really wish I had that ring he bought me.
I used to write letter after letter. When my ex husband was on subs, there was no email. We got one family gram a week, or 10 family grams a patrol. Sometimes we communicated, sometimes you didnt. Write it in a journal, write letters, whatever, but write it and it will make you feel better. And those feelings will not inconsequential when he comes home, it's just a six week patrol not forever. You can do this.
ReplyDelete