Thinking...

I get in trouble when I think.
Case in point...I sold my wedding rings today. Ahh, the end of an era. Before I sold them, I put them on my finger, and I went back. Back to when I was miserable in frigid Chicago. But also when I was around my friends, my wonderful job, and the ex's family...I loved that family. I felt nostalgic wearing those rings, not to mention I LOVED having a sparkly sparkly on my finger. Uh oh. Yeah, I felt a little sadness in getting rid of those rings. But really, Id NEVER wear them because of their memories, and it really is high time i got rid of them. I got asking price, and the couple who bought them was VERY pleased. :) Now I just wait for Brandon to pick out a ring to replace the one her ordered for me but never got in the mail. Ahh, online businesses going out of business. Life!

I missed Brandon today, but then i didn't. Life goes on, yeah? He's my darling and I want him to be here, but Im finally understanding what its like to be a military girlfriend...your man also has another person in his life, his job! Sad, but true and unavoidable.
My iPod went dead, so I put in a CD when I was driving home from a friend's house and listening to Carrie Underwood's "Lessons Learned" really made me proud of where I am.

Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

I also remember sitting in my car driving home from somewhere when I decided to leave Ronnie....and I know exactly what song was playing the moment I knew I HAD to move one, Carrie Underwood's "Starts with Goodbye."

I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

Sometimes I have Cd's I just cant listen to because if it was music I really loved at one time in my life, I listened to that CD constantly, and thus that music is glued to that point in time and those feelings.
I almost cried today because I just wanted to share things with Brandon and i was so mad that I couldn't. I have this box on my bookshelf that has our picture on it. every time I want to talk to him (we usually text...) I write a little note and put it in there. It helps just enough to ease the pain a little bit. The only problem is that the poor man will be soo out of the loop by the time he gets back. But, Im a chatterbox and hes an awesome listener and he actually enjoys hearing what I have to say! Did I fond a catch or what?
Another awesome thing is that I can text my sister in Korea. The downside is its 20 cents a pop. (hey, when did they take the cent symbol off the keyboard???) But anyway, it gives us a chance to chat and keep in contact. I think we're gonna get a little bit closer, and I like that.

Okay people, I'm gonna try and get some sleep...thanks for reading!!

For Brandon...even though he doesn't know this blog exists...